With change comes a mixture of emotions and naturally some ambivalence.
ambivalence
noun
the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.
equivocation, uncertainty, doubt, indecision, irresolution, hesitation, hesitancy
"the law's ambivalence about the importance of a victim's identity"
We may feel indecisive about our goals, there may be conflicting desires such as wanting to help others and not put yourself first or wanting to lose weight but not give up some comfort eating habits.
This ambivalence is completely normal.
It does not mean you don't want to change or you're lazy or not motivated.
Change will always involve some competing drives, this may result in being conflicted as to why you're on the path you've set for yourself or that has been advised for you (by a doctor for example). You may not feel ready to change, willing to change or even able to change.
So if you're in this situation with an area of your health and fitness there are a few strategies we can try to create some more clarity and work through our own ambivalence.
Identify the resistance to change:
What are the forces at play which are resisting your ability to create the change you want?
Identify and develop discrepancy:
What ways of coping might you be attached to that may be working against your goals or values?
How do your current behaviours reflect on where you're trying to get to? Is there any mismatch or inconsistency?
Reframe:
All of us have perceptions, thoughts and ideas of our lives and the world around us. This creates a frame of reference that can potentially limit what we think we can do or what we see.
Our aim here is to focus not on the obstacles and roadblocks that stand in our way but the advantages that you may have in your specific situation. It sounds so simple but can be very challenging for a lot of people. Questions like these can help uncover a different frame of reference.
When and where does this problem not occur?
Is there another story you could tell about that?
If you were to stop thinking about how you’re going to solve the problem and start thinking of how you know it will be solved, what would this look like?
Find a professional for more advice and guidance:
This could be in the form of a coach/PT, nutritionist, counsellor etc. professionals who are experts at collaborating with you to help you make the changes you desire.
If you're experiencing your own ambivalence, understand that its an entirely normal part of the process to sustainable change.
If you're struggling through your own ambivalence and want to continue in improving your health, wellbeing and fitness please fill out our quick survey or book in a call to help gain some more clarity and overcome these barriers.